Monday, January 7

Over It

“I’ve decided to end things with my Ex.” 

Quoting a good friend of mine, I had to stop and re-read this line over g-chat today and ask myself: "If they're your Ex, shouldn't it have already ended?"  I’ve never personally been in the predicament when an Ex is not really an Ex but not really a significant other either and it struck me not only as odd (and admittedly a bit amusing), but also something many people are faced with. 

When I was dumped my college boyfriend and I decided to end things amicably right after Fall Semester I did what most girls probably do: refused to get out of bed for four days and started dressing significantly better once winter break was over.  It wasn’t that I felt particularly good about myself, I just wanted him to see what he was missing by discarding the sweat pants and hoodies and putting a little more effort into my wardrobe.  It didn’t end up working particularly well with said ex-boyfriend but it DID end up working on one mediocre Division III baseball player. 

Ex’s are a funny thing.  I can’t say I’ve ever had much success with mine but not only am I not one who enjoys goodbyes or long drawn out dramatics I also never dated ones who were really all that nice to me.  So, who am I to judge you and your Ex’s and when it ends/doesn't really end/is in limbo for several months?  I can only tell you I looked fan-fucking-tastic the first time I saw mine after the "breakup."  My recommendation for your first “I know I’m going to ‘run-into’ my ex tonight outfit” below (because let's be honest, that's where my mind usually immediately goes):

Girlfriend, I don't care if your only other plans that night were to sit at home and feel sorry for yourself. Your Ex thinks you are doing something so beyond fabulous he cannot even comprehend it (not hard in said outfit, trust me.)


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